FTC: This post is not sponsored. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Out of all the videos I’ve seen/watched with vloggers discussing what we should be leaving in 2016 and bringing into 2017, I didn’t notice anyone discuss the rapid epidemic that is spreading: The rise of the F***Boy. I know I know… what the heck is Trials N’ Tresses doing talking about such crazy topics, stick to hair right? Well you deal with enough F***boys and your stress levels are so are liable to rise so high your hair starts to fall out! So steer clear of them, at the very minimum to save your hair and then your sanity.
F Boys And Their Friends: Dating As A Millennial
But that is not what we’re hear to discuss. Every now and then I open the dialogue up about being a single woman dating as a millennial in a sea of f**k boys. Especially in major metropolitan cities, you never miss out on your fair share, and it doesn’t get much bigger than New York. I have many questions for people in the dating pool. But the real reason this post is being written is because I had a serious conversation with a serial f**k boy who I consider to be a good friend. And I had to ask him why he does the things he does, why he treats women the way he does and he responded honestly:
“It’s one of two things. The women I deal with let me do the stupid s**t that I do so why stop. And thats the same for me and my friends. Ya’ll girls are all out here looking for a relationship and aren’t offering anything new or different so we do what we want until we find a woman to make us do the right thing”
After cursing profusely at that nonsense of a response, I had to actually stop and listen to what was actually being said. From this ridiculously stupid response, I gathered two different thoughts.
1. While I don’t think women are to 100% blame for the rise of fools pretending to be men, I do think what my friend said had some merit. Situationships are comfortable until the very moment they are not. We as women often times forget just what it is that we deserve because we are comfortable in the situation and we are happy for the time being not being alone. Women, myself included, must take the blame for not asking for what it is that we want in a relationship or want from a partner. We make these lists, we have our standards, and then we fold at the first cute boy with a nice smile that fits “some” of our requirements. Ignoring major signs that this person just might not be the one for you, we forge ahead full force, treat these f**k boys like husband material, when truly they showed you who they were from the very beginning. When you let them do as they please, for as long as they please, some blame is to be shared in the outcome of the downfall.
2. My second thought was: ” show me a person’s friends and I’ll tell you who they are” I completely ignored the part where he spoke about women not offering anything new or different, because I’m not a magician nor am I an entertainer. If what I have to bring to the table isn’t different or refreshing enough for your tastes, then we’re just not a match and that is perfectly okay. However… the part of that response that rung an alarm for me was, “That’s the same for me and my friends”. Who someone hangs out with doesn’t always directly align with the type of person they are, or what they believe in, but it does play a part in many things. Who you surround yourself with, who you take the time to develop friendship with, who you go to for life advice in times of need plays a major part in how you handle things, how you see things, and how you treat people. A F**k boy is bound to have at least 30% of his friends also be F**k boys. And while 30% may not seem like a lot, because the other 70% may be upstanding citizens, don’t be fooled. One bad apple can spoil the bunch, and a mixy F**k boy with a 30% F**k boy friendship ratio, is quite unlikely to leave the lifestyle behind.
So what does this mean for us single ladies in the city who are trying to build something real? There’s no simple answer or formula, trust me if there was I would have found it. It’s easier said than done to truly fight for what you deserve romantically. Even the toughest girl boss can fall privy to nonsense every now and then (side eye). The truth of the matter is its an unfortunate rat race that shouldn’t be treated like a tactical game, but that is what it is. So whats the moral or point of this? Stay alert and keep your eyes on the prize. At the end of the day only you are responsible for yourself and have to live with the choices you do or don’t make! But for sure… be weary of f**k boys and their friends. Your hair and your mind will thank you for it!
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Hey there! I’m Melissa, co-founder of Trials n Tresses, natural hair and beauty lover, binge tv watcher and lover of life. When I am not creating content for TNT, I’m busy teaching the future of society.